Don’t make this dating mistake

rude interracial couple on a bad date

This is one dating mistake, that can be very costly..

Online dating can be a tricky field to navigate sometimes.

You can read the profile of a person, and think you know a lot about them.

Heck, you can even talk to them on the phone a few times.

Until you actually meet them though, you really don’t know what is in store for you.

Is this going to be heaven or hell, you sometimes wonder.

Such was the experience  several years ago, when I went out with a woman.

Let’s call her Sue.

I picked her up at her apartment (a bit unusual, as most women don’t give you their home
address on the first date) right on time and she was ready to go.

Sue was an attractive brunette,  wearing the proverbial black dress, and it fit like a glove
and so I imagined this was going to be a fun evening.

The plan was to go to a hotel nightclub, in the downtown area, and do some dancing
and get to know each other a bit better.

We got to the club, grabbed a table, it was still early, around 9pm so we ordered a couple
of drinks and started to chat a bit; the usual small talk about some of our interests, and
backgrounds.

Then the DJ put a song on that  I liked, so I grabbed Sue, and took her to the dance floor.

Holy smokes, this woman could dance! She had all the moves.

And of course she really knew how to do the bump and grind,  and did not waste any time
showing her interest.

Great I thought, this date is going really well, obviously I have made a good impression.

After about 20 minutes of dancing, I guided Sue back to our table, so we could continue
our conversation.

I wanted to get to know her a little better.

And that’s when it started: She went into a tirade about her last boyfriend, and how the
relationship was a disaster.  What a rotten guy he was,  yada yada, yada.

That is when the RED FLAG warning went up.

All of sudden, I saw myself as being the next guy in line, who was also going to be
chopped to pieces by Sue, while she was talking to her next potential boyfriend.

Such negativity. And she was quite emotional about it too.

How can you really trust a women like this, whom you hardly know
and is already badmouthing somebody else.

Now I was thinking,  that this date had turned from what might have
been fun, to one that I just wanted to end.

No matter how attractive she was,
that kind of low class  behaviour on  a first date,meant that it would be the last date.

We went back to the dance floor,  and then it was time to go home I decided.

I drove Sue home, to drop her off.  And she leaned right into me for a kiss
and put her arms around me as soon as I put the car in park.

Talk about a fast mover!

She then suggested we go to her  place for a nightcap.

In retrospect, I should have simply made up some  excuse to leave, but I was not
thinking with that part of my brain unfortunately.

After I left, I decided that I was not even going to bother calling Sue again.

Well guess what?

The next day  I got a nasty text from Sue, saying: “Why haven’t you called me again’?
Your just like every other guy! You just want to have sex with a women, and then dump them”

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat????

I called Sue back, to find out what the issue was  and boy was she pissed.

And she hung up on me.   Then called me back.

This time I hung up on her.

Sue obviously had some serious anger issues, and other faults and I was not
interested in trying to “fix her up”.

So the lesson for you here is not to do what Sue did.

If you go out on a date with a woman,  you want to keep it light and fun, and make
sure she has a great time, so you can too.

You cannot build trust with someone, if you are complaining about your ex, and how
she is screwing you over, and won’t let you see the kids, etc.

Otherwise,  you are going to be shut down very quickly, and deservedly so.

If you want to learn more great dating tips, then be sure to download my FREE report
which includes essential tips on making every date, a successful date!

 

 

Online dating driving you crazy?

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Online dating can be like playing the lottery.

Sometimes you win, and sometimes you don’t.

Ask yourself a question.

How many bad dates have you had via online dating?

You know how it goes: You see someone you like online, and set up a coffee, lets meet for drinks
or lunch get together.

You arrive at the venue on time.  You are waiting to meet this person, then they show up, and
you do a double take when you see the woman you are about to meet.

She does not look anything like the picture that she posted in her online profile.

The picture that she has posted might have been taken a few years ago, and now she appears to be
somewhat heavier, perhaps older looking as well  and you feel somewhat deceived and pissed off about this.

Now, when this first happened to me and I was new to online dating  I was  somewhat annoyed, but carried through with the date
anyway, because I wanted to be a “nice guy”.

What I was really  thinking, that if she was willing to not be truthful and misrepresent herself to me initially,
then what other BS and lies might she tell me.

“What the hell was she thinking?” I would quietly tell myself.

Perhaps she was thinking, that once I met her and discovered what an amazing person she was, that
I would overlook the fact that she had essentially lied to me.

When this happened a few times, I became less tolerant and would end the date
relatively quickly.

One of the big mistakes I made,  was actually making a dinner date with someone,
because they sounded good on the phone.

Then being  stuck with her for a much longer time period and  praying for dinner to end
so I could get the hell out of there.

Waste of my time and money.

I also did not like confrontation.

What I should have done, is tell her that I do not appreciate my time being wasted, and turned
around and walked out on her.

After a while, I realized that there some women were only interested in one thing: Getting some free drinks,
lunch, or a dinner at my expense. It sure cut down on their personal expenses.

And whose fault is that?

Mine of course, because I did not take the necessary steps to qualify that person to make sure that we
were at least well suited to even go out together in the first place.

Nope, desperate as I was, I just took the first woman that came along ,

Feeling insecure  about myself, and  my  scarcity mentality towards being
able to get a women did not help either.

Yes,  I know it sounds pretty pathetic.

And it was.

Mind you, I was always a gentleman; but rarely got second dates with the same woman.

Does any of this sound familiar?

There are many men who are unfortunately making the same mistake, and some that are
not learning from it.

If that is you, don’t you think it is time for a change?

You deserve better, and you know it.

Till next time.

Ray Khan

PS Be sure to check out my FREE guide on how you can started dating again, and avoid
some of the dumb mistakes I made.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Breaking up is hard to do

Relationship breakup man

And when it happens to you, you want to avoid the fallout
that often follows.

Here are some coping strategies to to help you survive,
regardless of whether it was you or the other person that instigated
the breakup.

You are still left dealing with pain and sometimes mixed and crazy
Emotions, that can leave your head spinning and emotional turmoil.

After being married for 24 years myself, and leaving that marriage
I can tell you, it was a living hell.

Emotions. Confusion. Pain.

It takes time to heal. Y

First thing you want to do is immediately stop all communication with Your ex.

I am serious.

Yes, there may be some issues that need to be dealt withIn regards to personal items,
moving, and such meetings should Be kept very short, and ideally with a 3rd party present to keep things Civil
if need be.

Get rid of any items that may trigger memories of your ex. such as
Personal keepsakes.

Store them away if you need to. An item like a ring, or a watch…..just
gonna be reminders.

One more thing:
Do not stalk your ex on social media of any kind.

Just detach as Much as you can from her.

The temptation may be there, but it
Is best for you if you do not know what she is up to.

Spend time alone: Just to go a restaurant or a coffee shop, grab
that book that you have been meaning to read, and just give
Yourself some down time.

Or listen to a favorite podcast.

Hang out with friends: This is key, because you want to maintain
Contact with people, and they can also be supportive.

Yes, This can be a bit tricky, especially if you and your ex have mutual friends.

Andbe careful not to badmouth your ex to your friends.

One of the biggest mistakes I made after my marriage broke up was
Entering into a rebound relationship.

What a mistake that was!

I was not healed or emotionally
Ready, and as result that new relationship was very unstable.

What happened is that I still had all these negative emotions inside
me and they affected my new relationship.

Did not help that my new girlfriend was not exactly stable either,
as she had been in a very wounded relationship, and had very
low self esteem herself.

Yes, it seemed like Fun and excitement at the time, but all it did was mask how crappy
I was feeling inside.

I would suggest that you consider not entering any other relationship until you have healed.

There are going to be times when you may simply burst into tears
All of a sudden.

Allow yourself the time and space to grieve and
let the pain dissipate.

Another area that you will also want to play close attention to is
your health.

This can start to slide in very subtle ways that you
May not even notice it.
You may start eating out more, and possibly end up eating the wrong
Type of foods which can put on the pounds.

Watching tv, eating junk food. The wrong stuff, which will
only make you feel crappier if you overdo it.

If you drink, Alcoholic consumption Might also start to increase so be aware of this.
One of the best ways to feel better about yourself is to exercise.

Just move your body. Outside is good or at a gym.

Yes, even a 30 minute walk per day, will make a difference.

This is also a great time to take up a new hobby, or personal interest
That you have always wanted to do.

Volunteer at a food bank. Do something to help other people.

Take a course, or learn something new.

Not only will this distract you from your pain
It will also allow you to move forward with new interests in your
Life.

Remember, you need to rebuild your self-esteem.

One of the best tools I found that really helped me to recover
Was writing a daily journal. It was a great form of therapy as
I could express my thoughts freely, assess what mistakes I had
Made (and believe me there were many) and how I could
Avoid that in a future relationship.

I was also able to write what I call a pretend letter to my ex,
Where I also expressed my feelings, and how I felt I had be
Wronged in the relationship. Of course, I would never actually
Send the letter to my ex, but it really allowed me to exorcise
Some inner demons.

Try this: Write down a list of reasons that you are better
Off without your ex in your life.
Perhaps she would not allow you to do certain activities
Or did not support you in your goals.

Now you can do those things.

A daily 15 minute meditation, ideally done at the same time
Each day, will also help you deal with anger that may be
Building up inside you. Listening to music that is relaxing
May also help.

One final thought and this is a big one.

When I left my ex, I started to think about the good times we
had , and then had to make a determined effort to remind myself of the many bad times we also had.
My mind was playing head games on me, and there was a couple
Of times I actually considered trying to get back with my ex.

Do not let this happen to you.

It is a dangerous trap.

Just keep moving forward and looking ahead.

Download my Free guide on how you can get started on dating again
as a further resource.

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