Overcome your fear of approaching women

How to approach a woman
How to approach a woman

Conversation is the key to attracting a woman into your life

Easier to be eaten by Lions, than approach and converse with a woman?
Being a hero back in the days of Julius Caesar was no easy task. Christians were routinely thrown into a battle against lions and other wild beasts. The idea was simple: If you survived the battle (which was relatively rare) you might be granted freedom or at the very least be allowed to live another day.

The Roman spectators in the stadium enjoyed the spectacle, and this free entertainment was a form of distraction to prevent people from thinking about they were being taxed. Because it was free, it also permitted the current government to stay in power as well.

Now you might be thinking that being thrown into the ring with the lions and being eaten, might be easier than approaching attractive women who might reject you.

Fear can overcome the best of us and prevent us from engaging with a female that we might find of interest to us, which is a lot easier to do that it was to fight with a lion in Caesar’s Hippodrome.

What we are going to cover is:

1) Afraid to start a conversation with a new woman?

2) Overcome your fears by taking action.

3)How to keep the conversation going.

1. Afraid to start a conversation with a new woman?
You see an attractive woman who catches your attention. You are afraid to approach her because you don’t want to use a lame excuse, like talking about the weather or asking her the time. Most women are tired of this approach. Conversational skills are not taught in school and while some people have the “gift of gab” many others don’t. If you fall into the latter category here is what you can do about that. Let’s start with what your first thoughts might be.

What are you thinking?
Well if the first thing that crosses your mind is that you would like to see her naked, you are already off to a wrong start. You are thinking several steps ahead, and your intentions are totally off base. The first words out of your mouth are likely going to be the wrong ones in that case So what is it you want to say then?

Guess what she’s thinking?
Many women, (not all) are going to admire you, to begin with for having the courage to approach them and start a conversation. They have some fear and trepidation just like you do about why a stranger is approaching them, so to make her feel safe about your approaching in the first place you need to have a active and upbeat vibe. Your mind must be in a positive frame. Your body language must be soft and warm, and direct eye contact with a smile is also necessary. Moving slowly towards her is also key. Be aware of her personal space and don’t invade it immediately.

Lots of practice
To develop these skills, it takes practice; you overcome your fears by making many approaches. Expect to be often rejected. You don’t know what is going on in this person’s life.

2)Overcoming your fears by taking action
One of the best ways to open a conversation with a woman is to notice something about her or your mutual surroundings that you can make a comment or observation. For example, if you are in the mall and you see a woman approaching you with a shopping bag in her hand, that has a name of a shoe store you could ask her if the store sells men’s shoes as well. Then compliment her on her good taste in her own shoes. Perhaps she could also recommend some other shoe stores to you. This opens up a conversation. What if that does not happen and she just ignores you?

What if she blows me off?
Not every woman is going to respond well, and some might just ignore you altogether. Expect that to happen and just don’t take it personally, as many men are apt to do. There are many reasons why this could happen, here are a few: She just ended a bad relationship recently, or had a lousy job interview, all of which have nothing to do with you. Just be polite and move on.

It is a numbers game
The more women you approach, the easier it becomes. The big challenge next is continuing the conversation and obtaining her contact information.

3) Keeping the conversation going
A woman will next judge you based on your body language and your facial expressions. You must project warmth and also express a degree of confidence, so they can feel they are in a safe space to continue the conversation with you.

Be a better listener and less of a talker
If you are nervous and talk quickly too much, that will not work in your favour. Slow down your speech pattern. Be an active listener and give her feedback, with the occasional nod of your head or a verbal “hmm” in agreement. If you do this carefully, you will know exactly what to say next to keep the conversation going.

Ask open-ended questions and follow her cues
The truth of the matter is, people enjoy talking about themselves. By using open-ended questions, you prevent simple yes or no answers which cause automatic shutdown while also taking much of the pressure on you to keep the conversation going in a forcible and awkward manner. Where will you get this information? If you were paying close attention to her when she talks, she would give you the cues and information. If you are busy thinking about the next thing to say to impress her, you will be lost in your thoughts and not hear most of what she said.

The Ultimate Goal
When you talk to a woman, your only goal should be to have a fun conversation with them that also entertains, with no hidden agenda. It takes all the pressure off you, enhances your attractiveness as a fun guy, with a good vibe. Remember, It all starts with a great conversation.

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