And when it happens to you, you want to avoid the fallout
that often follows.
Here are some coping strategies to to help you survive,
regardless of whether it was you or the other person that instigated
You are still left dealing with pain and sometimes mixed and crazy
Emotions, that can leave your head spinning and emotional turmoil.
After being married for 24 years myself, and leaving that marriage
I can tell you, it was a living hell.
Emotions. Confusion. Pain.
It takes time to heal. Y
First thing you want to do is immediately stop all communication with Your ex.
I am serious.
Yes, there may be some issues that need to be dealt withIn regards to personal items,
moving, and such meetings should Be kept very short, and ideally with a 3rd party present to keep things Civil
if need be.
Get rid of any items that may trigger memories of your ex. such as
Store them away if you need to. An item like a ring, or a watch…..just
gonna be reminders.
One more thing:
Do not stalk your ex on social media of any kind.
Just detach as Much as you can from her.
The temptation may be there, but it
Is best for you if you do not know what she is up to.
Spend time alone: Just to go a restaurant or a coffee shop, grab
that book that you have been meaning to read, and just give
Yourself some down time.
Or listen to a favorite podcast.
Hang out with friends: This is key, because you want to maintain
Contact with people, and they can also be supportive.
Yes, This can be a bit tricky, especially if you and your ex have mutual friends.
Andbe careful not to badmouth your ex to your friends.
One of the biggest mistakes I made after my marriage broke up was
Entering into a rebound relationship.
What a mistake that was!
I was not healed or emotionally
Ready, and as result that new relationship was very unstable.
What happened is that I still had all these negative emotions inside
me and they affected my new relationship.
Did not help that my new girlfriend was not exactly stable either,
as she had been in a very wounded relationship, and had very
low self esteem herself.
Yes, it seemed like Fun and excitement at the time, but all it did was mask how crappy
I was feeling inside.
I would suggest that you consider not entering any other relationship until you have healed.
There are going to be times when you may simply burst into tears
All of a sudden.
Allow yourself the time and space to grieve and
let the pain dissipate.
Another area that you will also want to play close attention to is
This can start to slide in very subtle ways that you
May not even notice it.
You may start eating out more, and possibly end up eating the wrong
Type of foods which can put on the pounds.
Watching tv, eating junk food. The wrong stuff, which will
only make you feel crappier if you overdo it.
If you drink, Alcoholic consumption Might also start to increase so be aware of this.
One of the best ways to feel better about yourself is to exercise.
Just move your body. Outside is good or at a gym.
Yes, even a 30 minute walk per day, will make a difference.
This is also a great time to take up a new hobby, or personal interest
That you have always wanted to do.
Volunteer at a food bank. Do something to help other people.
Take a course, or learn something new.
Not only will this distract you from your pain
It will also allow you to move forward with new interests in your
Remember, you need to rebuild your self-esteem.
One of the best tools I found that really helped me to recover
Was writing a daily journal. It was a great form of therapy as
I could express my thoughts freely, assess what mistakes I had
Made (and believe me there were many) and how I could
Avoid that in a future relationship.
I was also able to write what I call a pretend letter to my ex,
Where I also expressed my feelings, and how I felt I had be
Wronged in the relationship. Of course, I would never actually
Send the letter to my ex, but it really allowed me to exorcise
Some inner demons.
Try this: Write down a list of reasons that you are better
Off without your ex in your life.
Perhaps she would not allow you to do certain activities
Or did not support you in your goals.
Now you can do those things.
A daily 15 minute meditation, ideally done at the same time
Each day, will also help you deal with anger that may be
Building up inside you. Listening to music that is relaxing
May also help.
One final thought and this is a big one.
When I left my ex, I started to think about the good times we
had , and then had to make a determined effort to remind myself of the many bad times we also had.
My mind was playing head games on me, and there was a couple
Of times I actually considered trying to get back with my ex.
Do not let this happen to you.
It is a dangerous trap.
Just keep moving forward and looking ahead.
Download my Free guide on how you can get started on dating again
as a further resource.