Are You Sabotaging your Online Dating Success?

couple- on beach

Are You Sabotaging your Online Dating Success?

If you have been online dating for a while,  it’s likely that you have had many online dates and wondering when you are going to meet that one woman of your dreams.

You have your list of what type of person you want to meet.  You have the criteria listed.  She’s a brunette, has to be between the ages of 35-45,  weigh around 135lbs. With a height of 5’6 inches. Has to live within 20 minutes of your place of residence.  And on it goes.

You have searched through the online dating sites that you are a member of and you are running out of potential dates, since most of the women that responded to your connections,  you’ve already been out with.

Now you are starting to get a bit desperate and frustrated. The girl you are looking for does not appear to exist.

What to do next?

Perhaps you have defined the type of woman that you are willing to go out with too narrowly.  By expanding your possible options of the type of woman that you would consider going out with, this would open up many more options.

So, for example, you might only go out with brunettes, consider going out with a blonde as well.  You may find yourself to be pleasantly surprised.  When you start to open your options up in more areas you increase the odds of finding someone that you might not have initially thought you could be attracted too, yet when you meet her, you are ready to rip her clothes off.

Another example might be that you limit your dating possibilities to women that are only university educated.  You narrow down the available pool of women when you do that.  Great if you can find a match, but if you can’t then consider perhaps someone with a college education or even a female entrepreneur who may have the smarts without a formal education.

Do you want a woman who is between 35-45?  How about increasing the range slightly. This opens up some other factors such as does she have younger kids or not from a previous relationship and is that something you are ok with?

A lot of 50+ guys seem to want to date women between 35-45. What about the possibility of being entirely compatible with someone closer to your age? You certainly will have some similar life experiences as well as more similar ideas about where you might be at this stage of life. Consider it just as a possibility and try it out.

You still have to get to know someone by dating them for a while; your odds are simply going to be much better to find that one particular woman if you expand your options.  This gives you access to a greater pool of women online, and a high possibility that the one gem that you are looking for is amongst that group.

Ultimately you want to find that one person to build a relationship with. While you may have to date many women to find that person, you will find the extra effort is well worth it.

To increase your success in finding that one great lady, read the book, How to Attract a Great Woman: A Practical Guide for Guys getting back in the dating gameby Ray Khan

Don’t make this dating mistake

rude interracial couple on a bad date

This is one dating mistake, that can be very costly..

Online dating can be a tricky field to navigate sometimes.

You can read the profile of a person, and think you know a lot about them.

Heck, you can even talk to them on the phone a few times.

Until you actually meet them though, you really don’t know what is in store for you.

Is this going to be heaven or hell, you sometimes wonder.

Such was the experience  several years ago, when I went out with a woman.

Let’s call her Sue.

I picked her up at her apartment (a bit unusual, as most women don’t give you their home
address on the first date) right on time and she was ready to go.

Sue was an attractive brunette,  wearing the proverbial black dress, and it fit like a glove
and so I imagined this was going to be a fun evening.

The plan was to go to a hotel nightclub, in the downtown area, and do some dancing
and get to know each other a bit better.

We got to the club, grabbed a table, it was still early, around 9pm so we ordered a couple
of drinks and started to chat a bit; the usual small talk about some of our interests, and

Then the DJ put a song on that  I liked, so I grabbed Sue, and took her to the dance floor.

Holy smokes, this woman could dance! She had all the moves.

And of course she really knew how to do the bump and grind,  and did not waste any time
showing her interest.

Great I thought, this date is going really well, obviously I have made a good impression.

After about 20 minutes of dancing, I guided Sue back to our table, so we could continue
our conversation.

I wanted to get to know her a little better.

And that’s when it started: She went into a tirade about her last boyfriend, and how the
relationship was a disaster.  What a rotten guy he was,  yada yada, yada.

That is when the RED FLAG warning went up.

All of sudden, I saw myself as being the next guy in line, who was also going to be
chopped to pieces by Sue, while she was talking to her next potential boyfriend.

Such negativity. And she was quite emotional about it too.

How can you really trust a women like this, whom you hardly know
and is already badmouthing somebody else.

Now I was thinking,  that this date had turned from what might have
been fun, to one that I just wanted to end.

No matter how attractive she was,
that kind of low class  behaviour on  a first date,meant that it would be the last date.

We went back to the dance floor,  and then it was time to go home I decided.

I drove Sue home, to drop her off.  And she leaned right into me for a kiss
and put her arms around me as soon as I put the car in park.

Talk about a fast mover!

She then suggested we go to her  place for a nightcap.

In retrospect, I should have simply made up some  excuse to leave, but I was not
thinking with that part of my brain unfortunately.

After I left, I decided that I was not even going to bother calling Sue again.

Well guess what?

The next day  I got a nasty text from Sue, saying: “Why haven’t you called me again’?
Your just like every other guy! You just want to have sex with a women, and then dump them”


I called Sue back, to find out what the issue was  and boy was she pissed.

And she hung up on me.   Then called me back.

This time I hung up on her.

Sue obviously had some serious anger issues, and other faults and I was not
interested in trying to “fix her up”.

So the lesson for you here is not to do what Sue did.

If you go out on a date with a woman,  you want to keep it light and fun, and make
sure she has a great time, so you can too.

You cannot build trust with someone, if you are complaining about your ex, and how
she is screwing you over, and won’t let you see the kids, etc.

Otherwise,  you are going to be shut down very quickly, and deservedly so.

If you want to learn more great dating tips, then be sure to download my FREE report
which includes essential tips on making every date, a successful date!



Online dating driving you crazy?


Online dating can be like playing the lottery.

Sometimes you win, and sometimes you don’t.

Ask yourself a question.

How many bad dates have you had via online dating?

You know how it goes: You see someone you like online, and set up a coffee, lets meet for drinks
or lunch get together.

You arrive at the venue on time.  You are waiting to meet this person, then they show up, and
you do a double take when you see the woman you are about to meet.

She does not look anything like the picture that she posted in her online profile.

The picture that she has posted might have been taken a few years ago, and now she appears to be
somewhat heavier, perhaps older looking as well  and you feel somewhat deceived and pissed off about this.

Now, when this first happened to me and I was new to online dating  I was  somewhat annoyed, but carried through with the date
anyway, because I wanted to be a “nice guy”.

What I was really  thinking, that if she was willing to not be truthful and misrepresent herself to me initially,
then what other BS and lies might she tell me.

“What the hell was she thinking?” I would quietly tell myself.

Perhaps she was thinking, that once I met her and discovered what an amazing person she was, that
I would overlook the fact that she had essentially lied to me.

When this happened a few times, I became less tolerant and would end the date
relatively quickly.

One of the big mistakes I made,  was actually making a dinner date with someone,
because they sounded good on the phone.

Then being  stuck with her for a much longer time period and  praying for dinner to end
so I could get the hell out of there.

Waste of my time and money.

I also did not like confrontation.

What I should have done, is tell her that I do not appreciate my time being wasted, and turned
around and walked out on her.

After a while, I realized that there some women were only interested in one thing: Getting some free drinks,
lunch, or a dinner at my expense. It sure cut down on their personal expenses.

And whose fault is that?

Mine of course, because I did not take the necessary steps to qualify that person to make sure that we
were at least well suited to even go out together in the first place.

Nope, desperate as I was, I just took the first woman that came along ,

Feeling insecure  about myself, and  my  scarcity mentality towards being
able to get a women did not help either.

Yes,  I know it sounds pretty pathetic.

And it was.

Mind you, I was always a gentleman; but rarely got second dates with the same woman.

Does any of this sound familiar?

There are many men who are unfortunately making the same mistake, and some that are
not learning from it.

If that is you, don’t you think it is time for a change?

You deserve better, and you know it.

Till next time.

Ray Khan

PS Be sure to check out my FREE guide on how you can started dating again, and avoid
some of the dumb mistakes I made.







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